Spiritual Awakening and Losing Friends
Is it normal for you to be losing friends during spiritual awakening?
Shouldn't the deeper perspective you now have and the clearer grasp of the truth enable a greater understanding of those who have different opinions to yours?
Losing friends as part of an awakening can cause a lot of upset, frustration and confusion - it's one of the most common themes students ask me about.
It's hard not to feel like you're the victim in all this and sometimes it can feel as if shying away from the real truth you've seen is the only way to stop it from happening.
Of course, everyone experiences different things during spiritual awakening - no two journeys are the same - but there are commonalities which explain why you can end up losing friends.
Let's take a look...
Why You Might End Up Losing Friends During Spiritual Awakening
There are many reasons why you can end up drifting apart from friends during an awakening.
Let's take a look at some of the most-common ones;
- You no longer view the world in the same way, you have a brand new perspective
- It can be difficult, if not impossible, to convey what you've seen to others
- As you mature into the new post-awakening version of yourself there's often a long solitary period of introspection
- Your needs and tastes change meaning you no longer find fun in the same things as before
- Shared interests may fade away as hobbies and pastimes which used to hold meaning for you, no longer do
- Your new outlook on life, when voiced, may scare off, intimidate or confuse your friends
- You can feel an urge to "convert" your friends but nobody can see truth in the exact same way you have
This doesn't mean it's inevitable though...
Some people go through spiritual awakening largely unchanged to the outside eye.
They choose to perhaps keep their "knowing" to themselves, their friends are maybe undergoing awakenings too or they are able to communicate fully their new situation in a way their friends understand.
But even if it does happen to you;
Are You Really Losing Anything At All?
All through the spiritual journey we are told to "let it go" - let everything fly away like a bird, hold on to nothing.
At first this is understood at the mental level and it can be relatively easily to do for certain aspects of life.
But when the rubber hits the road and we need to let go of non-functioning relationships, cherished memories or things we are attached to then it can be quite a different story.
You're not always ready to let go even though you know it is this very process of releasing which deepens your spiritual experience and understanding.
Ultimately there is no separate you and no separate friend. There is just This Everything.
There is no separation. This is all just life life-ing with itself anyway.
Let go what goes. Let arise what arises. You are the awareness in which everything transpires. You are what always remains.
If a friend can't see enough love between the two of you to remain friends after you're bared your soul then are they really a true friend anyway?
One of the biggest lessons you can learn in this entire process is to...
Be Wary of Getting Caught by Labels and Assumptions
For some, it's as if there's an unwritten rule that a "friend" should behave in a certain way, display certain characteristics and be loyal and by your side forever.
This just isn't the case.
Some of your best friends can be people you never meet.
Friendly strangers. Friendly words on a web page. Or a kind smile on the subway when you're feeling down.
A good way to resolve any fear or conflict you might have about losing friends can be helped with a simple question you can ask yourself;
"Is this reality?"
If you answer yes to that question then it is reality - it is happening and it is perfect and meant to be.
You know this because it is part of reality. It couldn't be any other way.
None of this is personal - only the mind thinks it is but you are not the mind.
This is what is happening, this is the path you are on and it's supposed to happen so everything is okay.
And it's also worth remembering...
Loss of Friends Can Happen Regardless of Spiritual Awakening
People drift apart. It's a natural process of life.
Circumstances change, goals change and perspectives change.
The idea that we can all travel through this journey with the same friends by our side the whole time is contrary to what nature shows us.
Big life changes like a job, marriage, a death, a birth and so on can make you reorient your whole existence.
And no "event" is more ground-shaking and Earth-moving than a spiritual awakening.
It can sometimes be a necessarily solitary period of one's life as you take stock of what you've seen and the body and mind try to assimilate it all into the new way of living.
It's no surprise friends and even partners fall by the way side during this upheaval.
Many people lose themselves during the process (if the awakening is complete) so losing friends is fairly minor by comparison!
And don't worry -
This is all unfolding as it's supposed to, you are never alone, regardless of who is or is not around you.
- Mike Cheney