I Attached Electrodes to My Brain to Boost My Ego
You couldn't make this stuff up...
Before awakening I was so self-involved and focused on protecting the illusory identity I'd built up over time I went to extreme measures to protect it.
After failing to feel totally happy after spending years chasing business success (and getting it) I threw myself into cycling.
I did everything I could to be faster on a bicycle.
This involved a strict diet, 15 hours a week on the bike, studying the latest scientific research to get a competitive advantage and buying the latest performance-enhancing gadgets.
I felt I had to do everything in my power to become the best cyclist possible so that I could win races and feel good for that moment.
One of things I bought was a set of headphones which had electrodes on the underside of the headstrap which connected to your scalp.
You wet the electrodes beforehand then turned on the headphones for a 15-minute period as they zapped the brain - allegedly to tune it in to a "frequency of hyper-plasticity and learning" so that it could help push you further and remember the cycling training routines.
All in the name of defending a fake identity of "cyclist" that I'd built up.
An early part of my awakening was literally stepping off the bike after a race and realising this wasn't me, I had nothing to prove, nothing to beat and nothing to defend.
There was simply nothing there beyond a concept and it all ended.
What is your identity? Hard-working mother? Embittered father? Ignored son? Abused woman? Entrepreneur?
Notice how your thoughts and actions are shaped around protecting, defending and bolstering this illusory identity.
The "you" is nothing more than a concept.
- Mike Cheney